The Squeeze

So I was sitting at lunch today and all of a sudden out of Ellie's mouth comes this sentence: "Who is Oscar's squeeze on The Office?" Teddy's mouth dropped and he looked at her in disbelief. I choked on my sandwich. I think there was an explosion on the street in the window behind us. In fact the whole Arby's shut down for a short time. What in the world was she talking about? Squeeze?? Really Ellie? What the heck are you talking about? Why would anyone call someone a squeeze. And as Teddy pointed out, that makes him Ellie's squeeze. How demeaning is that? For obvious reasons, she should not be able to call anyone her squeeze, at least until after marriage. Does that mean they are more squeezable, because that could quickly become a fat joke. The perverted minds could go crazy with that. To go along this thought line, where do we get these names. On a regular basis I hear Tyler call Molly babe, I've heard Andy call Emily cutie, now Teddy is "The Squeeze". All of these are nice I'm sure, and give you a special name to call the person you care about and I understand that, but they are not original, and in Ellie's case completely irrelevant. Everyone calls someone baby or honey. Our generation needs to usher some newness in the names we call the ones we care about most. Keep in mind that it needs to be an accurate and encouraging description of who they are to you. Come up with something special men, and let your women know how wonderful they are, just call her anything but squeeze.
P.S.- Samuel you are allowed to call Hayley "The Wheeze", Tyler can call Molly "Tease" (No offense Molly, just remebering your days with the shorts), Jonathan can call Lizzie "Fleas", and Ellie you can call Teddy "Macaroni and Cheese", just some ideas to get you guys going. Love you all!