Home

I walked out of the Well tonight at about 9:00 and stopped. I took a deep breath, looked up and the stars, and thanked God and continued on my way home.

The cause for my pause was a hesitation to wanting to go home. I am at a place where loneliness can set in, but not loneliness like its normally thought of. Its not a needy loneliness, or a depressed loneliness. I don't dread going home, or even dislike being home. It was just I wasn't ready yet to go home. I had a good day, and some cool things happened, yet I felt partly unfulfilled not having anyone to tell the details of my day to. I had tried to call a few people close to me to tell them about my day, but they were both in pretty hard places in life, and their needs quickly took the conversation. That is completely fine! Its just a few nights lately have left me going home after a full day of school, and no one to come back to and talk to, and it can be kind of odd. The people that speak to me every night right now are Rainn Wilson, Alexandre Dumas, and Edgar Allen Poe. Sometimes I look up the most random stuff on wikipedia just to learn how things work. I will spend over an hour some nights cooking meals. I have the same routine every night when I get home.

I hope you really hear my heart on this. This is usually a description of someone who is really bored or frustrated in life. The great thing about this season is that this is not the case at all. I am really loving everything in life right now. I love school. I love the drive, the lectures, the learning. I'm liking reading and cooking and having a place of my own that is peaceful. There is one reason why I am loving all of these things right now. It's because in all of this God has made his nearness known to me. I have not felt separate from Him for even a second. There is a time in life where I would have despised all of this, but not now. This was the cause of me not wanting to go home. A brief disappointment in a lack of fellowship was quickly followed by the presence of my God being with me, fulfilling me and pushing me forward in the season He has me in. This is truly what it means to be able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me. With Him right now, I am truly happy. He is good to me!

-Disclaimer: I still know I have the best friends in the world, and am certainly not needing a single thing more from you guys. You all have your roles in my life and doing exactly what you've been doing has been perfect! Thanks all you guys for being so great to me and I know you are always there for me! Love all you guys a lot!!!