Spider Man

The spiders have been pretty bad lately. The force field of bug killer around my house is weakening, and several spiders have penetrated my defenses and made it though alive. I have learned a lot about them lately. I used to freak out and kill them. Now I'm much more patient with them. Sometimes I watch them. Sometimes I trap them. Sometimes I even just let them be. Three times this week I woke up with spiders crawling on me in bed. One time I awoke to a huge one right in front of my face staring at me. I have scars from bites all over my body, and get new ones consistently. One was extremely bad, and at one time honestly thought I was near death from what the bite was doing to me. I probably kill at least three per night, and many others die on their own from my shield of poisons.

I'm being attacked!! It's a little funny now. My fear of them is almost completely gone. There was one on my bed this morning, and I didn't even budge. I'm getting used to them. I guess the biggest thing, is I learned there isn't a lot to really fear with them. Yeah I get bites, but only once has it been bad, and even then I survived on my own without a doctor. They're kind of creepy looking, but maybe that's just the view I had growing up with them. I still don't like them, and I get frustrated with the war I'm fighting against them being never ending, but at least I don't fear. I realized today, that although I really fear in some areas, the Lord has used these things to remove fear from my heart. I really don't fear for my body. I don't have health insurance, and I'm not to worried about it. I've seen the Lord heal my body supernaturally several times. I have courage to go into dangerous places, or situations, because I am assured more than anything that the Lord will keep my body. I think I can get through things others can't because I really trust the Lord with my body. I think I'm supernaturally protected, and if something did happen, I believe He will heal me quickly. Its funny, I wish that I could trust Him easier with my life, or with His plan, or with my future, but for some reason this is what I trust Him with the most, my health and His ability to keep me from harm. The Lord has burned deeply into my faith, to not fear the potential of death, but to trust in the God who has the ability to raise from the dead. The Shack has taught me so many lessons about trusting God, I'll always be glad about this season of my life. Having His perspective changes everything.